The decision to divorce is incredibly difficult. Evaluating what’s best for you, your spouse and your children before you decide to start proceedings is crucial. Knowing why you want a divorce and what you might expect can make the process less stressful and provide a clearer picture of your path.
Here are four things you should consider before proceeding.

1. Reason. One of the first things to consider before filing for divorce is the reason you’re doing it. There are a range of questions you should be able to answer before seeking to start divorce proceedings.

• Do you still love your spouse?
  
• Have you communicated your frustrations? Was he or she receptive?
  
• Have you tried counseling?
  
• Will you be truly happier without your spouse?
  
• Do you have a realistic plan of what your life will look like post-divorce?
  
• Would some time separate from your spouse give you some space to think things through more carefully and give you a better understanding of what life might be like?

 
2. Process. You should also consider the process of divorce before diving in. If you’ve never been through a divorce, you may have a false idea of what it might be like. Divorce brings about a lot of changes and can be incredibly stressful. Divorce will cause financial changes, create intense responses among your family, friends, and children, create insecurity in your future and more. The hard truth is that you must be prepared for very significant life changes. 

3. Legal support. If you’re looking to end your marriage, how will you go about it? Will you go through the standard legal system? Or is working with a mediator a better option? There’s much to consider before a divorce but figuring out how to go about it is key. “Lawyering up” and going through the courts can be painful, impersonal, expensive and create hostile feelings.  In contrast, working with a mediator offers a less expensive, more empowering, personal and amicable option. Research both options before you commit. 
 
4. Manage your outcome expectations. What do you expect the outcome of your divorce to be? If you have children, do you envision full custody? Shared? Do you hope to keep the family home or move into a new place? Are you prepared to share holidays? Takeover all the daily household and childcare tasks? Will you be able to afford all the same things you can now afford? Sometimes, people have mistaken ideas of what the outcome of their divorce and custody agreement will look like.

Despite these potential obstacles, Divorce may be the right solution for you.  Concerns aside, divorce can also bring future happiness and peace and open up doors for you and your family.

If you’re looking for help sorting through all this and understanding your options—whether to understand the process, get legal support or have a better picture of the likely outcome- let Vener Family Law and Mediation help.  You can get advice about Divorce and Custody Mediation or Divorce and Custody Law in Media, PA and the surrounding areas.

Hiring a mediator usually isn’t associated with the most pleasant time in life. But being prepared and picking the right person for the job can make the process much less stressful. There are specific questions to ask a mediator before hiring them to tackle your issue. Selecting a mediator for your situation can be a bit more involved than Googling the closest in your area. Determining if your mediator will be a good match in personality and experience is key into a successful and amicable outcome. Here are some questions to ask a mediator before hiring them:

​What’s your style?
Mediators can have a variety of mediation styles. Some are more passive than others, while some are interactive. While each mediator is responsible for maintaining a neutral approach, the way they handle cases can vary. None of the styles are particularly better than the other but one style might fit the subject matter, relationship, or personalities involved more effectively than the other. Ask any potential mediator about their style and try to get to know how they’ll approach your specific situation.

How do you approach a new case?
Speaking of the approach to your case, ask them how they handle new cases in general. Get a sense of what happens during the process. This will give you a sense of their communication style as well as give you an outline of what you can expect. Asking this question to a mediator before hiring them can also give you insight into how much they’ll need to know from you before the process begins.

What’s your area of expertise?
Mediators can tackle a variety of disputes and learning what your potential mediator’s previous experience is can be critical to the outcome of your dispute. While a good mediator can handle just about any dispute, working with someone who has experience in your particular subject could be more beneficial to everyone involved. Do they focus on divorces? Have they built up a large clientele in insurance claims? Figuring out what they know and what they’re used to is key.
Before your meeting, write out your list of questions to ask a mediator before hiring them so you’ll be prepared to note their answers, especially if you’re talking to several! The perfect fit is out there. If you’d like to ask us more about our mediation services, contact us today!

While some states can take the welfare of a furry family member into consideration during divorce proceedings, many states, including Pennsylvania, consider pets to be property. That means that custody of your four-legged companion is likely to go to one spouse or the other without much thought of visitation according to the courts. The custody of pets in a divorce can be more effectively determined through using mediation instead of going through traditional court processes. The majority of households in the country own at least one pet who are oftentimes considered members of the family. Parting ways with a beloved pet during a divorce can be devastating – especially if a judge is required to act by state law which simply assigns possession.

Courts divide property based on it is considered community property or through equitable distribution. From there, the property will be evaluated to determine if it belongs to the couple as a whole or just one spouse. Finally, the court will take into account any previously agreed to arrangement regarding the property between spouses. Since pets are considered property in this state, this is the process they’ll go through. The agreements that you’ve made before you get to divorce court can be critical in how pets will be handled during proceedings. Working with a mediation specialist to determine what plan is best for the pets first is critical.
Figuring out custody of pets in a divorce should really be focused around the pets’ best interests. When you meet with a mediator to start outlining your plan, think about a few key factors that can make big differences in your plan, such as:

• Work schedules – If you work long hours but your soon-to-be ex doesn’t, which will provide the pet a better life?
• Lifestyle – Do you intend to devote time to your pet? Are you always out in the evenings and plan to leave Fido at home alone? Whichever spouse can spend the most time with the pet should get the majority of custody.
• Relocation – If one space is staying in a home with a yard or near a park, they may be best suited to keep the family pet for the majority of the time – especially if it’s an active breed. Oftentimes one spouse will move out of the marital home to an apartment that may not be as suitable for a pet.
• Cost – Determine who will be financially responsible for the family pet. This includes food and accessories as well as future veterinary care.
• Comfort – Sometimes it can be confusing to ship pets back and forth between homes. Animals get stressed out when their routine and surroundings are constantly disrupted which can result in a change in behavior. If your pet has lived its entire life in the family home, take their comfort into consideration when plotting out a custody arrangement.

​Working through these types of things with a mediation specialist before you go into court proceedings can make all the difference in where your family pet ends up. Custody of pets in a divorce isn’t easy but it also doesn’t have to add to the stress of an already stressful situation.