Divorce is rarely easy for any party involved. Children are no exception. Children of divorcing parents often have difficulty during these tumultuous times. The psychological effects of divorce on children has long been a topic of discussion among parents and psychologists alike. We know that while divorce can be stressful for all children, some manage it better than others. Just as every adult is different, every child has a different skill set when it comes to dealing with stressful situations. Furthermore, each family is different in how the process plays out for the children. While divorce can create uncertainty for the entire family, children can be confused, frustrated, or frightened during this time because of their lack of maturity.
The age and developmental stage of children of divorced parents directly impacts the way they will handle the situation. Younger children are often confused about why they have to go between two residences and worry that their parents may stop loving them since they stopped loving each other. Children of grade school age typically worry that they somehow caused the divorce and think about whether they did something wrong. Teens react with anger over the changes that a divorce creates, and they may take sides or feel the need to protect one parent. Whatever the case, the children of divorced parents need to be assured that while many things are changing, those changes are not their fault. Most important, both Mom and Dad, no matter what, will never change in their love for their children.
One incredibly important way to make divorce less stressful for everyone involved is to limit the hostility in the process. Usually, people don’t come to a divorce from a loving place, so figuring out how to limit the impact of mom's and dad’s stress and anger on the children is key. Mediation is a great way to achieve agreeable results when couples are looking to separate—especially if there are children involved. In mediation, you and your spouse can work out agreements over finances, taxes, property, and custody of your children. It is undisputed that achieving a divorce through mediation can put less stress on the entire family compared to traditional court proceedings. That means that children of divorcing parents will likely experience less trauma during the process. Mediation can be a great way to settle something incredibly unpleasant and can result in agreeable outcomes for all.
If you have questions about mediation, contact Vener Family Law and Mediation. Our goal is to provide diligent representation while preserving dignity and limiting harm.
The decision to divorce is incredibly difficult. Evaluating what’s best for you, your spouse and your children before you decide to start proceedings is crucial. Knowing why you want a divorce and what you might expect can make the process less stressful and provide a clearer picture of your path.
Here are four things you should consider before proceeding.
1. Reason. One of the first things to consider before filing for divorce is the reason you’re doing it. There are a range of questions you should be able to answer before seeking to start divorce proceedings.
2. Process. You should also consider the process of divorce before diving in. If you’ve never been through a divorce, you may have a false idea of what it might be like. Divorce brings about a lot of changes and can be incredibly stressful. Divorce will cause financial changes, create intense responses among your family, friends, and children, create insecurity in your future and more. The hard truth is that you must be prepared for very significant life changes.
3. Legal support. If you’re looking to end your marriage, how will you go about it? Will you go through the standard legal system? Or is working with a mediator a better option? There’s much to consider before a divorce but figuring out how to go about it is key. “Lawyering up” and going through the courts can be painful, impersonal, expensive and create hostile feelings. In contrast, working with a mediator offers a less expensive, more empowering, personal and amicable option. Research both options before you commit.
4. Manage your outcome expectations. What do you expect the outcome of your divorce to be? If you have children, do you envision full custody? Shared? Do you hope to keep the family home or move into a new place? Are you prepared to share holidays? Takeover all the daily household and childcare tasks? Will you be able to afford all the same things you can now afford? Sometimes, people have mistaken ideas of what the outcome of their divorce and custody agreement will look like.
Despite these potential obstacles, Divorce may be the right solution for you. Concerns aside, divorce can also bring future happiness and peace and open up doors for you and your family.
If you’re looking for help sorting through all this and understanding your options—whether to understand the process, get legal support or have a better picture of the likely outcome- let Vener Family Law and Mediation help. You can get advice about Divorce and Custody Mediation or Divorce and Custody Law in Media, PA and the surrounding areas.
Hiring a mediator usually isn’t associated with the most pleasant time in life. But being prepared and picking the right person for the job can make the process much less stressful. There are specific questions to ask a mediator before hiring them to tackle your issue. Selecting a mediator for your situation can be a bit more involved than Googling the closest in your area. Determining if your mediator will be a good match in personality and experience is key into a successful and amicable outcome. Here are some questions to ask a mediator before hiring them:
What’s your style?
Mediators can have a variety of mediation styles. Some are more passive than others, while some are interactive. While each mediator is responsible for maintaining a neutral approach, the way they handle cases can vary. None of the styles are particularly better than the other but one style might fit the subject matter, relationship, or personalities involved more effectively than the other. Ask any potential mediator about their style and try to get to know how they’ll approach your specific situation.
How do you approach a new case?
Speaking of the approach to your case, ask them how they handle new cases in general. Get a sense of what happens during the process. This will give you a sense of their communication style as well as give you an outline of what you can expect. Asking this question to a mediator before hiring them can also give you insight into how much they’ll need to know from you before the process begins.
What’s your area of expertise?
Mediators can tackle a variety of disputes and learning what your potential mediator’s previous experience is can be critical to the outcome of your dispute. While a good mediator can handle just about any dispute, working with someone who has experience in your particular subject could be more beneficial to everyone involved. Do they focus on divorces? Have they built up a large clientele in insurance claims? Figuring out what they know and what they’re used to is key.
Before your meeting, write out your list of questions to ask a mediator before hiring them so you’ll be prepared to note their answers, especially if you’re talking to several! The perfect fit is out there. If you’d like to ask us more about our mediation services, contact us today!
While some states can take the welfare of a furry family member into consideration during divorce proceedings, many states, including Pennsylvania, consider pets to be property. That means that custody of your four-legged companion is likely to go to one spouse or the other without much thought of visitation according to the courts. The custody of pets in a divorce can be more effectively determined through using mediation instead of going through traditional court processes. The majority of households in the country own at least one pet who are oftentimes considered members of the family. Parting ways with a beloved pet during a divorce can be devastating – especially if a judge is required to act by state law which simply assigns possession.
Courts divide property based on it is considered community property or through equitable distribution. From there, the property will be evaluated to determine if it belongs to the couple as a whole or just one spouse. Finally, the court will take into account any previously agreed to arrangement regarding the property between spouses. Since pets are considered property in this state, this is the process they’ll go through. The agreements that you’ve made before you get to divorce court can be critical in how pets will be handled during proceedings. Working with a mediation specialist to determine what plan is best for the pets first is critical.
Figuring out custody of pets in a divorce should really be focused around the pets’ best interests. When you meet with a mediator to start outlining your plan, think about a few key factors that can make big differences in your plan, such as:
Working through these types of things with a mediation specialist before you go into court proceedings can make all the difference in where your family pet ends up. Custody of pets in a divorce isn’t easy but it also doesn’t have to add to the stress of an already stressful situation.
Costs of Mediation
Mediation can be an effective and efficient way to resolve conflicts in a divorce, however, many people worry about the costs of mediation when deciding what route to take. However, using mediation in a divorce, custody or other family law process can actually reduce overall costs. Mediators can help resolve disputes more efficiently, which typically costs less than standard litigation. The mediation process tends to be informal and voluntary, which means you aren’t held to paying for time that’s associated with court hearings and pleadings. Because attorneys aren’t as involved as they would be in a litigated settlement, you likely won’t incur as many costs. Sometimes, you may not need to hire an attorney at all!
Mediation professionals, like Vener Family Law, typically charge hourly rates for their services. Instead of paying two lawyers to “duke it out” for an undetermined amount of time, you’ll simply work with a mediator on their specific fee schedule. Vener Family Law and Mediation offers an initial half-hour information session at no charge as a courtesy to understand your needs. The costs of mediation can range depending on the mediator’s experience and location, though you’ll typically see hourly rates between $150 - $300. Vener Family Law’s hourly rate, is $200.
The costs of mediation typically pale in comparison to resolving conflict through the litigation. While you will still need to pay filing fees, you will not need to attend any court proceedings or have any additional costly hearings and trials that often accompany litigated divorces. Think about it: at each hearing in a litigated settlement you be responsible for retaining a lawyer and paying an hourly rate of at least $250. In addition, The court system most often moves incredibly slowly, which means you’ll spend more on lawyer’s fees and likely need to take off work, which would be an additional cost to you.
Working with a mediator can reduce the amount of time you spend resolving a conflict. In addition, many mediators will try to work with your schedule, so you can meet on your own terms instead of having to upend your life to make a court date. The benefits of a less stressful and more efficient resolution to conflict far outweigh the costs of mediation. If you’re looking for a trained professional to assist with mediation, contact Vener Family Law.
Taxes and divorce – neither of those things are fun. But did you know that the new tax bill may actually affect a divorce? There are three key changes that appear in the Tax Cut and Reform Bill which President Trump signed into law during December of last year. If you’re thinking of getting a divorce in the near future, you’ll want to review how this new law can impact the outcome. Here’s what you should know:
If you have questions about how the new tax law may affect your impending divorce, let Vener Family Law and Mediation help. Divorce and taxes are stressful enough. Let the professionals help guide you through
Divorce is stressful and can be mentally, physiologically, and emotionally draining. Practicing self-care during a divorce is just as important and keeping the ship of your daily life afloat. Stress can cause cracks and if those cracks aren’t address, your ship will sink. Taking time to take care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s necessary during a stressful live event like divorce. Self-care also doesn’t have to be incredibly involved – just having a focus on your own needs can make all the difference. Here are some ways you can practice self-care during one of the most trying times in life.
Using mediation for custody in Media, PA, Philadelphia and the surrounding counties can be a less harmful way to approach a difficult situation. Just as you can use mediation for equitable distribution and support in your divorce proceedings, bringing in a mediator to negotiate custody can be a far healthier way to come to an amicable arrangement. Children are sensitive to the stresses of their parents, and no matter how young, they can be adversely affected by a divorce. Making the process as easy on the entire family as possible is paramount. Here are some ways that children can specifically benefit from a mediated custody settlement.
While no divorce is stress-free, using mediation for custody in Media, PA, and the surrounding area can be a way to make the entire situation a whole lot easier for everyone involved. Family mediation allows both parents to come together and amicably agree on a custody arrangement in the presence of a neutral third party. When parents are less stressed, children fare better. Additionally, using a mediator can take much of the animosity out of a divorce or separation situation. Once a custody battle hits the court system, the risk for incredible stress is ever present.
When custody proceedings head to the court, your private affairs can quickly become public. Family mediation can be a way to keep your family’s personal business a bit more private, which can protect your children. Mediation is confidential and qualified professionals involved can’t disclose anything discussed during the sessions without your permission. In contrast, if you’re involved in a court custody battle, your children can be exposed to parts of your relationship that you’d rather protect them from.
When both parties come to an agreement on child custody, they’re highly likely to follow through with what has been laid out. If your custody case goes to Court, you don’t have as much control in the decisions being made – your case ends up being decided by the Judge who is a stranger to you and the specific needs of your family. Using mediation for custody can be a more beneficial way to ensure that both parents are satisfied with the arrangement because they had input in it. Very importantly, Mediation will help to ensure that your kids are satisfied—after all, it will be the people who love them the most who authored the custody agreement!
If you have questions about mediation for custody in Media, PA, or want to learn more about the process, contact Vener Family Law.
Divorce is rarely easy, but there are things available to you to make the process a little less confrontational and stressful. Did you know that many people are able to navigate a divorce without a lawyer in Delaware County, PA, and in Philadelphia and in the neighboring counties? Using mediation services is a way to make a painful proceeding a little less nerve-wracking and more amicable, which is important especially if there are children involved. One sticking point that usually comes up during a divorce proceeding is property, however working with a mediator can alleviate many of the frustrations associated with dividing assets. Mediation services allow partners to work with a neutral party to evaluate assets and come to cordial decisions regarding how assets are divided.