Divorce is rarely easy for any party involved. Children are no exception.  Children of divorcing parents often have difficulty during these tumultuous times. The psychological effects of divorce on children has long been a topic of discussion among parents and psychologists alike. We know that while divorce can be stressful for all children, some manage it better than others. Just as every adult is different, every child has a different skill set when it comes to dealing with stressful situations. Furthermore, each family is different in how the process plays out for the children. While divorce can create uncertainty for the entire family, children can be confused, frustrated, or frightened during this time because of their lack of maturity.

The age and developmental stage of children of divorced parents directly impacts the way they will handle the situation. Younger children are often confused about why they have to go between two residences and worry that their parents may stop loving them since they stopped loving each other. Children of grade school age typically worry that they somehow caused the divorce and think about whether they did something wrong. Teens react with anger over the changes that a divorce creates, and they may take sides or feel the need to protect one parent. Whatever the case, the children of divorced parents need to be assured that while many things are changing, those changes are not their fault. Most important, both Mom and Dad, no matter what, will never change in their love for their children.

One incredibly important way to make divorce less stressful for everyone involved is to limit the hostility in the process. Usually, people don’t come to a divorce from a loving place, so figuring out how to limit the impact of mom's and dad’s stress and anger on the children is key. Mediation is a great way to achieve agreeable results when couples are looking to separate—especially if there are children involved. In mediation, you and your spouse can work out agreements over finances, taxes, property, and custody of your children. It is undisputed that achieving a divorce through mediation can put less stress on the entire family compared to traditional court proceedings. That means that children of divorcing parents will likely experience less trauma during the process. Mediation can be a great way to settle something incredibly unpleasant and can result in agreeable outcomes for all.

If you have questions about mediation, contact Vener Family Law and Mediation. Our goal is to provide diligent representation while preserving dignity and limiting harm.

The decision to divorce is incredibly difficult. Evaluating what’s best for you, your spouse and your children before you decide to start proceedings is crucial. Knowing why you want a divorce and what you might expect can make the process less stressful and provide a clearer picture of your path.
Here are four things you should consider before proceeding.

1. Reason. One of the first things to consider before filing for divorce is the reason you’re doing it. There are a range of questions you should be able to answer before seeking to start divorce proceedings.

• Do you still love your spouse?
  
• Have you communicated your frustrations? Was he or she receptive?
  
• Have you tried counseling?
  
• Will you be truly happier without your spouse?
  
• Do you have a realistic plan of what your life will look like post-divorce?
  
• Would some time separate from your spouse give you some space to think things through more carefully and give you a better understanding of what life might be like?

 
2. Process. You should also consider the process of divorce before diving in. If you’ve never been through a divorce, you may have a false idea of what it might be like. Divorce brings about a lot of changes and can be incredibly stressful. Divorce will cause financial changes, create intense responses among your family, friends, and children, create insecurity in your future and more. The hard truth is that you must be prepared for very significant life changes. 

3. Legal support. If you’re looking to end your marriage, how will you go about it? Will you go through the standard legal system? Or is working with a mediator a better option? There’s much to consider before a divorce but figuring out how to go about it is key. “Lawyering up” and going through the courts can be painful, impersonal, expensive and create hostile feelings.  In contrast, working with a mediator offers a less expensive, more empowering, personal and amicable option. Research both options before you commit. 
 
4. Manage your outcome expectations. What do you expect the outcome of your divorce to be? If you have children, do you envision full custody? Shared? Do you hope to keep the family home or move into a new place? Are you prepared to share holidays? Takeover all the daily household and childcare tasks? Will you be able to afford all the same things you can now afford? Sometimes, people have mistaken ideas of what the outcome of their divorce and custody agreement will look like.

Despite these potential obstacles, Divorce may be the right solution for you.  Concerns aside, divorce can also bring future happiness and peace and open up doors for you and your family.

If you’re looking for help sorting through all this and understanding your options—whether to understand the process, get legal support or have a better picture of the likely outcome- let Vener Family Law and Mediation help.  You can get advice about Divorce and Custody Mediation or Divorce and Custody Law in Media, PA and the surrounding areas.

Hiring a mediator usually isn’t associated with the most pleasant time in life. But being prepared and picking the right person for the job can make the process much less stressful. There are specific questions to ask a mediator before hiring them to tackle your issue. Selecting a mediator for your situation can be a bit more involved than Googling the closest in your area. Determining if your mediator will be a good match in personality and experience is key into a successful and amicable outcome. Here are some questions to ask a mediator before hiring them:

​What’s your style?
Mediators can have a variety of mediation styles. Some are more passive than others, while some are interactive. While each mediator is responsible for maintaining a neutral approach, the way they handle cases can vary. None of the styles are particularly better than the other but one style might fit the subject matter, relationship, or personalities involved more effectively than the other. Ask any potential mediator about their style and try to get to know how they’ll approach your specific situation.

How do you approach a new case?
Speaking of the approach to your case, ask them how they handle new cases in general. Get a sense of what happens during the process. This will give you a sense of their communication style as well as give you an outline of what you can expect. Asking this question to a mediator before hiring them can also give you insight into how much they’ll need to know from you before the process begins.

What’s your area of expertise?
Mediators can tackle a variety of disputes and learning what your potential mediator’s previous experience is can be critical to the outcome of your dispute. While a good mediator can handle just about any dispute, working with someone who has experience in your particular subject could be more beneficial to everyone involved. Do they focus on divorces? Have they built up a large clientele in insurance claims? Figuring out what they know and what they’re used to is key.
Before your meeting, write out your list of questions to ask a mediator before hiring them so you’ll be prepared to note their answers, especially if you’re talking to several! The perfect fit is out there. If you’d like to ask us more about our mediation services, contact us today!

While some states can take the welfare of a furry family member into consideration during divorce proceedings, many states, including Pennsylvania, consider pets to be property. That means that custody of your four-legged companion is likely to go to one spouse or the other without much thought of visitation according to the courts. The custody of pets in a divorce can be more effectively determined through using mediation instead of going through traditional court processes. The majority of households in the country own at least one pet who are oftentimes considered members of the family. Parting ways with a beloved pet during a divorce can be devastating – especially if a judge is required to act by state law which simply assigns possession.

Courts divide property based on it is considered community property or through equitable distribution. From there, the property will be evaluated to determine if it belongs to the couple as a whole or just one spouse. Finally, the court will take into account any previously agreed to arrangement regarding the property between spouses. Since pets are considered property in this state, this is the process they’ll go through. The agreements that you’ve made before you get to divorce court can be critical in how pets will be handled during proceedings. Working with a mediation specialist to determine what plan is best for the pets first is critical.
Figuring out custody of pets in a divorce should really be focused around the pets’ best interests. When you meet with a mediator to start outlining your plan, think about a few key factors that can make big differences in your plan, such as:

• Work schedules – If you work long hours but your soon-to-be ex doesn’t, which will provide the pet a better life?
• Lifestyle – Do you intend to devote time to your pet? Are you always out in the evenings and plan to leave Fido at home alone? Whichever spouse can spend the most time with the pet should get the majority of custody.
• Relocation – If one space is staying in a home with a yard or near a park, they may be best suited to keep the family pet for the majority of the time – especially if it’s an active breed. Oftentimes one spouse will move out of the marital home to an apartment that may not be as suitable for a pet.
• Cost – Determine who will be financially responsible for the family pet. This includes food and accessories as well as future veterinary care.
• Comfort – Sometimes it can be confusing to ship pets back and forth between homes. Animals get stressed out when their routine and surroundings are constantly disrupted which can result in a change in behavior. If your pet has lived its entire life in the family home, take their comfort into consideration when plotting out a custody arrangement.

​Working through these types of things with a mediation specialist before you go into court proceedings can make all the difference in where your family pet ends up. Custody of pets in a divorce isn’t easy but it also doesn’t have to add to the stress of an already stressful situation.

Costs of Mediation
Mediation can be an effective and efficient way to resolve conflicts in a divorce, however, many people worry about the costs of mediation when deciding what route to take. However, using mediation in a divorce, custody or other family law process can actually reduce overall costs. Mediators can help resolve disputes more efficiently, which typically costs less than standard litigation. The mediation process tends to be informal and voluntary, which means you aren’t held to paying for time that’s associated with court hearings and pleadings. Because attorneys aren’t as involved as they would be in a litigated settlement, you likely won’t incur as many costs. Sometimes, you may not need to hire an attorney at all!
Hourly rates
Mediation professionals, like Vener Family Law, typically charge hourly rates for their services. Instead of paying two lawyers to “duke it out” for an undetermined amount of time, you’ll simply work with a mediator on their specific fee schedule. Vener Family Law and Mediation offers an initial half-hour information session at no charge as a courtesy to understand your needs. The costs of mediation can range depending on the mediator’s experience and location, though you’ll typically see hourly rates between $150 - $300. Vener Family Law’s hourly rate, is $200. 
Court
The costs of mediation typically pale in comparison to resolving conflict through the litigation. While you will still need to pay filing fees, you will not need to attend any court proceedings or have any additional costly hearings and trials that often accompany litigated divorces.   Think about it: at each hearing in a litigated settlement you be responsible for retaining a lawyer and paying an hourly rate of at least $250. In addition, The court system most often moves incredibly slowly, which means you’ll spend more on lawyer’s fees and likely need to take off work, which would be an additional cost to you.
Working with a mediator can reduce the amount of time you spend resolving a conflict. In addition, many mediators will try to work with your schedule, so you can meet on your own terms instead of having to upend your life to make a court date. The benefits of a less stressful and more efficient resolution to conflict far outweigh the costs of mediation. If you’re looking for a trained professional to assist with mediation, contact Vener Family Law.
 
 

Taxes and divorce – neither of those things are fun. But did you know that the new tax bill may actually affect a divorce? There are three key changes that appear in the Tax Cut and Reform Bill which President Trump signed into law during December of last year. If you’re thinking of getting a divorce in the near future, you’ll want to review how this new law can impact the outcome. Here’s what you should know:

1. Alimony. The prior tax code says that alimony is tax deductible by the payor and taxable to the payee which means whoever is paying alimony (spousal support) is doing so with pre-tax dollars which they will be able to deduct. However, under the new tax bill, alimony will no longer be tax deductible and the spouse receiving the support does not need to claim it as income for divorces finalized in 2019 and after. The payor is traditionally the higher earner and taxed at a higher rate and the payee at a lower rate. Previously, there were less taxes to pay regarding alimony, but the new tax law results in more taxes and less money. Alimony has frequently been used as a tool in settlement to avoid a trial, but the new tax law may impact that. The good news is that if your divorce is finalized before January 1, 2019, the old tax rules still apply.
2. Dependents and Child Tax Credit. At the beginning of this year, dependency exemptions were eliminated. An exemption reduces your taxable income while a credit reduces tax liability. An exemption for a dependent (traditionally your child) is the income that you can exclude from your total taxable amount. The previous exclusion for each dependent was $4,050, however the new tax law makes that zero. The child tax credit offsets taxes you may owe per dollar and is available if you’re the parent of a child under 17 who lived with you at least half the year. The previous law allowed for as much as $1,000 per child while the new law allows for as much as $2,000 per child. However, you can only claim this tax credit if you claim the child as a dependent. When it comes to divorce, a non-custodial parent may only claim a child as a dependent if the custodial parent agrees and signs off on it.
3. Itemized deductions. There have also been some changes to tax code relating to divorcing parties that claim deductions and itemize tax returns each year. Those include:
   1. The ability to deduct interest on a mortgage has been reduced from $1 million to $750,000.
   2. You can no longer deduct legal fees directly related to spousal support.
   3. You can no longer deduct tax preparation fees. 
   4. Interest on home equity loans is no longer deductible.

Also new this year is an increase in standard deductions - $12,000 for single and $24,000 for joint filers). When it comes to divorcing parties, there are key itemized deductions that accompany property and debts and with new standard deductions, fewer people may opt to itemize.

​If you have questions about how the new tax law may affect your impending divorce, let Vener Family Law and Mediation help. Divorce and taxes are stressful enough. Let the professionals help guide you through

Divorce is stressful and can be mentally, physiologically, and emotionally draining. Practicing self-care during a divorce is just as important and keeping the ship of your daily life afloat. Stress can cause cracks and if those cracks aren’t address, your ship will sink. Taking time to take care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s necessary during a stressful live event like divorce. Self-care also doesn’t have to be incredibly involved – just having a focus on your own needs can make all the difference. Here are some ways you can practice self-care during one of the most trying times in life.

1. Sleep. This may be easier said than done but getting enough sleep during stressful times in life is key. Keeping up your sleep routine will allow your body to stay strong and heal both physically and emotionally. Make your bedroom a sanctuary to aid in turning off thoughts at the end of the day. Put down the cell phone and focus on truly restful sleep.
2. Reflect. You can allow yourself to feel. Oftentimes when we’re going through stressful or emotionally traumatizing situations, we tend to shut off and push down our feelings so that we can continue to function. Dealing with those traumatic feelings is crucial to healing and letting go. Sit in your sadness, acknowledge it, and let it go. Reflecting on your feelings is an important part of self-care.
3. Socialize. The last thing you might want to do is be in public with the potential of having to face questions about the status of your marriage. However, meeting up with old friends for a little socializing will really help during this difficult time. Confide in those that have known you longest and have always been there for you. Now is their time to shine and help you get back to yourself.
4. Try something new. Now is the time to rediscover yourself as a single person. Trying something new is the perfect way to jumpstart that process. New experiences can rewire the brain and the time during and after a divorce can be an ideal time for that. Do something that you’ve never done – skydive, sign up for a dance class, anything that will get you out of your comfort zone. Who knows who you could meet during your new adventure!
5. Take care of your body. Self-care means taking care of your body just as well as your mind and soul. Be sure to eat well and move. If you had a fitness and food routine before your divorce, keep it up. If you didn’t, now’s the time to start one. Emotional stress can take a toll on the body, but if you’re being proactive about keeping it healthy, you’re ahead of the game.

We know how hard divorce is on everyone involved. If you’re in need of counsel, mediation, or have any questions about divorce proceedings, let Vener Family Law and Mediation help. With years of experience in this specialty, we know how to make the process as smooth as possible.

Using mediation for custody in Media, PA, Philadelphia and the surrounding counties can be a less harmful way to approach a difficult situation. Just as you can use mediation for equitable distribution and support in your divorce proceedings, bringing in a mediator to negotiate custody can be a far healthier way to come to an amicable arrangement. Children are sensitive to the stresses of their parents, and no matter how young, they can be adversely affected by a divorce. Making the process as easy on the entire family as possible is paramount. Here are some ways that children can specifically benefit from a mediated custody settlement.

Less Stress
While no divorce is stress-free, using mediation for custody in Media, PA, and the surrounding area can be a way to make the entire situation a whole lot easier for everyone involved. Family mediation allows both parents to come together and amicably agree on a custody arrangement in the presence of a neutral third party. When parents are less stressed, children fare better. Additionally, using a mediator can take much of the animosity out of a divorce or separation situation. Once a custody battle hits the court system, the risk for incredible stress is ever present.

Privacy
When custody proceedings head to the court, your private affairs can quickly become public. Family mediation can be a way to keep your family’s personal business a bit more private, which can protect your children. Mediation is confidential and qualified professionals involved can’t disclose anything discussed during the sessions without your permission.  In contrast, if you’re involved in a court custody battle, your children can be exposed to parts of your relationship that you’d rather protect them from.

Follow Through
When both parties come to an agreement on child custody, they’re highly likely to follow through with what has been laid out. If your custody case goes to Court, you don’t have as much control in the decisions being made – your case ends up being decided by the Judge who is a stranger to you and the specific needs of your family. Using mediation for custody can be a more beneficial way to ensure that both parents are satisfied with the arrangement because they had input in it.  Very importantly, Mediation will help to ensure that your kids are satisfied—after all, it will be the people who love them the most who authored the custody agreement!

If you have questions about mediation for custody in Media, PA, or want to learn more about the process, contact Vener Family Law.
 

Divorce is rarely easy, but there are things available to you to make the process a little less confrontational and stressful. Did you know that many people are able to  navigate a divorce without a lawyer in Delaware County, PA, and in Philadelphia and in the neighboring counties? Using mediation services is a way to make a painful proceeding a little less nerve-wracking and more amicable, which is important especially if there are children involved. One sticking point that usually comes up during a divorce proceeding is property, however working with a mediator can alleviate many of the frustrations associated with dividing assets. Mediation services allow partners to work with a neutral party to evaluate assets and come to cordial decisions regarding how assets are divided.

1. More amicable. Opting to go about a divorce with a mediator in Delaware County, PA, can mean that your split is more amicable – even when it comes to property. Mediation services provide a neutral party to talk you both through the process and create a safe environment for each of you to express your wishes. Without a neutral person, you might experience higher stress and you and your partner may be less likely to be fair and pleasant. If you go through lawyers, your process, by its nature, will be adversarial. If you go through the courts, a judge or master will make decisions for you. In contrast, when a mediator is present, they can guide you through the process and focus on you.
2. Less expensive. Divorce proceedings can be extremely expensive. By using mediation services, you and your former spouse can often save significantly. You and your spouse will not have to pay ongoing fees to two lawyers to "battle it out." The money saved can go to you and your family. 
3. Discretion. Simply put, going through a divorce with mediation in Delaware County, PA, can make one of the most uncomfortable points in your life a whole lot more private. When divorces are litigated, your private matters can be revealed to the public. By using mediation, you can keep things private and that includes all the property that you and your spouse are dividing. No one needs to know all of your business and using a mediator can help keep it under wraps.
4. Control. Divorce mediation gives both parties more control over what happens during a split. When you are able to sit down with a neutral party to discuss wants and desires in a safe and mediated environment, both parties feel like their voices are heard. Using mediation through a divorce without a lawyer in Delaware County, PA, allows the involved parties to make decisions about their property instead of leaving the choices up to the courts.

If you want to learn more about divorce mediation services, give Vener Family Law a call. We’re here to help you achieve amicable solutions to some of life’s toughest issues.